The Trench Coat Pirates
by Numb3r Se7en
Summary: Very similer to the normal One Piece, but DIFFERENT! Just read and find out. Please comment
1. Chapter Uno

The Trench Coat Pirates

Chapter uno

It began with a pub. Not a special pub, just a pub. There was about…twelve? Yeah, twelve people in it, including the bartender, but it soon became thirteen because just then, I walked in. I was wearing a long trench coat that reached the floor, a black fedora, black pants, black t-shirt, no shoes (I like black), I had a sword sheathed on my waist, and I had a toothpick in my mouth. Everyone looked up when I entered. It gave me a chill, but I didn't show it. I walked up to the bar and sat on a stool. "Beer," I said.

"You got money?" the bartender asked.

"Yeah…" I said quite confused.

The bartender grabbed a mug, put it under the tap, and poured a cold beer before giving it to me. "Sorry 'bout asking if you had money first."

"That's fine. Has someone been stealing drinks?"

"Yeah, Karynne."

I chuckled. "Rin."

"You know her?" I went to say something, but just then, a floating blanket entered the building. It wobbled along. A couple of guys moved some chairs out of the way. It approached the bar, and a hand came out from underneath. It felt along the surface of the bench. I slid by beer into its reach. It latched on, pulled it under the sheet, and shuffled out. "So you know her?" the bartender asked.

"Sadly," I replied.

"Well, I guess you can pay for her tab." I stiffened. "You do have money…right?"

"Well… here's the thing… uhhhh…." I ran for the door and out the pub. I looked around for the blanket wearer. "There!" I charged at her and pulled the blanket off. It was Rin.

"Who are you? What day is it? Who are you?" she screamed.

"Still pretending to be senile to get out of trouble?" I asked with a smile.

"JAMES!" she shouted as she glomped me.

"The one and only!"

Just then, a group of Marines came around the corner. "There he is! There's the pirate!" one shouted.

"Pirate?" asked Rin. "You're living the dream!"

"Yeah, now let's run."

"Good idea."

We ran down an alley and hid behind a pile of crates. "I thought they came this way!" a Marine said.

"Keep looking!" another ordered.

They all ran off. "So," Rin said as she stood and brushed herself off, "you're a pirate now?"

"Yeah," I replied as she helped me to my feet. "I left home a couple of months ago."

"Cool." She then noticed the sword sheathed on my waist. "Oh my gosh! That's one of the legendary swords!"

"Hm?" I looked down at my black sword. "Is it?"

"Yes!" She pulled it out of its sheath and looked at it. "That's so cool!" I put my hand out for her to give it back. She sighed and did so. I sheathed it again. "I've got a job!"

"Then why do you steal drinks?"

"That is my job!"

I stared at her ear-to-ear grin. "Awesome!" I gave a thumbs up.

"Why are you here?"

"Because the Marines chased us, remember?"

"No. I mean in this town."

"Oh. I'm looking for a crew!"

"THAT'S COOL!" She shot her hand into the air. "Can I join? Please, oh please, oh PLEASE?"

I stroked my chin. "I don't know. I don't want you cramping my style."

"I won't! I promise! Please let me join!"

"Fine."

"YAAAAAY!" Rin started dancing like a maniac.

"Hey! There's the pirate!" a Marine shouted.

"And there's someone with him!" a second yelled.

"GET THEM!" a third commanded.

"Uh-oh," I mumbled. "RUN!"

We started running down the street. "Do you have a ship, James?" Rin asked.

"Of course!" I said. "That's it!" I pointed to a giant ship.

"THAT'S YOURS!" Rin screamed. "IT'S HUGE!"

"What?" I asked. "Not that one. The one behind it."

A small boat soon came into view. You couldn't really call it a boat, though. It was more of a couple of logs and a sheet. "Oh, that makes sense…" Rin sighed.

We jumped onto the boat and began paddling away. "HEY, GET BACK HERE!" a Marine called out.

"Make us!" I shouted. Just then, a bullet rushed past my head. "Huh…"

"PADDLE FASTER!" Rin commanded. I did as she wished and paddled as fast as I could. It was like someone attached a rocket on the back and we shot off into the ocean. "OH, NO!" Rin screamed.

"What is it?" I inquired.

"I left all my stuff back there!"

"Oh, well!"


	2. Chapter Dos

I'm sorry for the terrible first chapter. Not sorry enough to change it, but sorry nonetheless. I hope this one is better…no promises.

Chapter dos

"You think they'll follow us?" Rin asked, standing at the back of the boat.

"Probably not," I answered with my fedora over my face, trying to take a nap. "All we did was steal some drinks."

"But why did they call you a pirate?"

"Uhhhh…"

"_I am the greatest pirate in the wooooooooooorld!"_

"_Pirate?"_

"_Crap."_

"Dunno."

"So, you headin' for the One Piece?"

I shrugged. "If I come across it."

Rin sat down next to me. "Makes sense."

"You need some help?" a voice came from behind.

I turned around to see a pirate ship. There were a lot of men on it, each one with giant muscles. The man who asked the question was smiling evilly. "Nah, mate! We're good!" I answered with a smile.

Rin looked behind to see the ship. "Woah." She noticed the flag. It was a puppy skull, crying. "James."

"Yeah?"

"That's Captain Puppy Love's ship!" (I made it up on the spot)

"Puppy Love?"

"So, you've heard of me?" a deep voice asked from the ship. "Well, the rumours are true." A short, fat, bald man dressed like a beagle jumped onto the railing of the ship. "I AM CAPTAIN PUPPY LOVE!" The stocky man jumped up and down. "WE ARE THE PUPPY LOVE PIRATES!"

I shuddered. "There's something I didn't need to see."

"WHAT WAS THAT!" the blob roared.

"I SAID THERE'S SOMETHING I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE!"

The man growled. "KILL THEM!"

"Now you've done it," Rin grumbled as she rested her face in her palm.

The pirates fired one of their cannons at us. I flung Rin over my shoulder and jumped onto the pirates' ship just as our boat exploded. "WHAT THE HELL!" Puppy Love shrieked.

"Perhaps you've heard of me," I smiled as I dropped Rin to her feet. "I AM JAMES GREENWOOD! CAPTAIN OF THE TRENCH COAT PIRATES!"

Puppy Love thought for a while. "No, sorry."

"What!"

"You're a captain?" Rin asked.

"Well, not as yet, but I will be! Join my crew."

"'Kay."

"There you have it! I'm a captain! Now have you heard of me?"

Puppy just laughed at my excitement. "You're just a kid! You can't be a captain!" Puppy's crew joined in the mocking. "You don't even have a ship!"

"You're right," I smirked from under my fedora. "Give me yours." The men just continued to laugh. "I'll give you three seconds to get off the ship." The men laughed harder. Rin was getting suspicious. "One."

"He's really counting!" a man mocked.

"Two."

"Can he even count to three!" another said.

I looked up with a demonic smile. One of the men stopped laughing. Blood spurted from his chest and he started gagging. The other men saw him and watched as he collapsed and started coughing up blood. "What is this!" a man shouted.

"MOORING!" another yelled. "What did you do to him!"

Puppy was in shock. His eyes were open wide and his jaw dropped. "Devil Fruit." I continued smiling. "They're real." He looked up at me. "You've eaten a Devil Fruit."

Rin turned to me. "Yes," I answered. "I ate the Dash Dash Fruit. It gives me the ability to move at a supernatural speed."

Puppy slowly reached for his pistol. "KILL HIM!" he barked. (Pun not intended)

He and his men started shooting at me. I unsheathed my katana and twirled it around, slicing the bullets into pieces. CLICK CLICK CLICK. They were out of ammo. I stopped twirling my sword and sheathed it again. "Three."


	3. Chapter Tres

Chapter tres

We started sailing north. "That's south," Rin said as she paid the Paper Bird. (I don't know the name of those things. So they're called Paper Birds) We turned around and started sailing north. Rin sat down and began reading her paper. "Where are we going?"

"North!" I answered. "This is north, right?"

"Yeah, but I meant which island or whatever."

"Hmmm…" I checked the map. "This one!"

"I can't see where you're pointing."

"Here!"

"I still can't see."

I walked around the steering wheel, jumped the railing, and ripped the paper from her hands. "HERE!" I pointed to a tiny island. Rin rubbed the smudge off. It wasn't an island. I pointed to a different place.

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Feel like it."

"Alright."

I smiled and jumped back up to the steering wheel and spun it in excitement. It flew off and rolled into the ocean with a splash. "Huh."

"Steering wheel gone?"

"Yup."

Rin picked her paper back up and started reading it again. "Fix it."

"But there's no wheel!"

"Go get it."

"I can't swim. Remember?"

"Oh, yeah…go get it."

"You go get it! You can swim."

"Sorry. I ate a Devil Fruit, too."

"Oh…" I stared at the post the wheel once sat upon. "What?"

"I ate a Devil Fruit."

"Yeah…"

"Is it important?"

"Not really."

Rin turned the page. "Good."

"I guess Rudolf will have to steer."

"Rudolf?"

"Yeah, my gecko."

"… What?"

A red and green lizard climbed out of my coat. "Can you steer for us?" I asked. Rudolf looked like he just woke up. "Please?"

Rudolf sighed and jumped off the ship. "What was that?" Rin asked.

"My gecko."

The ship started moving at a ridiculous pace. Like an 'Oh my gosh! That's moving really fast!' pace. "Your lizard?"

"Yeah."

Rin put her newspaper down. "How?"

"He ate a Devil Fruit."

"Which one?"

"Growth growth fruit. He can change his size."

"So he's under the ship, pulling us along?"

"Yup."

Rin stared up at me. "But if he ate a Devil Fruit, how is he-"

A giant hawk landed on the mast and screeched loudly. "SHUT UP!" I shouted. It turned and stared at me. It screeched. "SHUT UP!"

It bit onto my coat and flew away with me. Rin watched as the giant bird flew away with her brother. She returned to her paper. "LET ME GO, YOU DUMB BIRD!" I ordered.

I flung my sword into its claw. It screeched again and dropped me. I yanked my katana from it and fell while yelling, "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"

I crashed into the water. Rin was still reading her paper when I got tossed back onto the ship. "Good swim?" she asked.

"Great!" I beamed. I got up and thanked Rudolf before heading into the cabin.

"I hate reading the paper," Rin thought aloud.

Inside the cabin, I was searching for a towel. "If I were a towel," I mumbled, "where would I hide?" I looked under a table. "Nope." I opened a chest. "Nada." I scanned the shelves. "Zilch." I turned around and there, shining beautifully, was a pile of treasure. I didn't notice though and opened a closet. "IS THERE NOTHING ON THIS SHIP!"


	4. Chapter Quatro

Chapter quatro

I exited the cabin, annoyed. "Where are the towels?" I asked my sister.

She was scribbling in her notebook. "I don't know. We stole this ship yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"Yeah. You fell asleep in there."

"I did?"

"Yeah. You're dry now."

I felt my clothes. "Oh, yeah." I sat down next to Rin. "Where'd you sleep?"

"Captain's Quarters."

"But that's where I sleep!"

"Apparently not."

"Touché." I looked around. "Where's Rudolf?"

Rin pointed to a tiny hammock attached to two small fake palm trees. I shuffled over to him on my knees. "It's morning," I told him. Rudolf rolled over. I frowned and pulled the hammock down until it touched the floorboards. I released it, shooting Rudolf into the sky. He landed in the ocean. The boat started moving again. "Excellent."

"Now that Rudolf's driving again, we should be at the island in three days," Rin said.

"Three days?" I fell forwards and hit my face on the ground. "That'll take forever."

"No, it'll take three days."

"Even longer." I looked up at Rin. "What'll I do for three days?"

Rin shrugged. "Get a hobby."

"Hobby?"

"Yeah, you know. Hobby."

"I know not this word."

Rin sighed and closed her notebook. "Hobby. A favourite pursuit outside one's main occupation." Rin opened her notebook again. "It is also a small falcon."

"So you want me to get a small falcon?"

"No, that's no-"

"A big falcon?"

"What? No, I mea-"

"WHAT SIZE FALCON!"

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET A FALCON!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE YELLING!"

"I'M NOT YELLING!"

"YES, YOU ARE!"

I paused. "OH, YEAH! I AM!"

Rin groaned. "Go do something else."

"Okay." I pulled my katana out and approached the crying beagle head on the front of the ship and cut it off. I then started drawing on a cloth. "TA-DA!"

Rin looked up. She couldn't make out what it was. "What is it?"

"It's our pirate flag!"

"Yeah, but, WHAT'S the flag?"

I didn't understand. "This!" I shook the flag.

Rin grabbed the cloth from my hands and drew something else. It was a skull and cross bones with a fedora. "There."

I gasped. "IT'S PERFECT! Except it needs something."

Rin frowned. "If it's perfect, it doesn't need anythi-"

"I KNOW!" I drew a cigar coming from the skull's mouth.

"Why?"

"Cuz Rudolf smokes."

"Of course he does."

"I keep telling him to quit, but NOOOOOOOO!" Rin shook her head and climbed up to the crow's nest. "Where are you going?" I asked her.

"Somewhere quiet."

"Cool! I'll come!" Rin reached the top and pulled a dagger from her boot. She cut the rope net behind her. I was halfway up and fell back down with a thud. "Okay! I'll see you later!"


	5. Chapter Cinco

Chapter cinco

"So, are you going to the festival?" the blacksmith asked as he banged his hammer on the hot steel.

"Festival?" the nicely-dressed customer inquired.

"Oh, yeah. It's a sight to see. Nothing quite like it."

The man peered out the window and saw a small dot flying towards him. "What is that?"

The blacksmith looked up and walked over to the window. "I don't know."

"What is that?" a woman asked.

"I don't know!" someone answered. "It's coming really fast, though!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Everyone ran to cover. The customer and blacksmith came out to investigate. "What in the world?" the smith mumbled to himself. It was seconds away. "MOVE!" The smith grabbed the suited man and jumped to the side.

The object crashed to the ground and dug up the hard concrete. I stood up and brushed myself off. "That was fun!"

"It's a man?" the customer coughed through the dust.

I turned around to face him. "Yo." The smith rose, only to faint and collapse again. I looked down at the apron-clad man. "He okay?"

The man nodded. "Who are you?"

I smiled and stuck my hand out. "Captain James Greenwood! Nice to meet you!" I shook his hand. "What's your's?"

"Shane," the man chuckled, almost not believing what happened, "Shane McCaw."

"That is an awesome name."

"Thanks."

The blacksmith groaned. "Are you sure he's going to be okay?"

"Oh, yeah."

* * *

><p>I almost absorbed the large table of food. "So good," I said as I scarfed down the feast.<p>

"Thanks," Shane smiled as he wiped a bit of my chaos off his cheek. "So you're a captain?" I nodded whilst sculling down some wine. "Of what?"

I finished stuffing myself and sighed, slowly blinking before closing my eyes. Shane frowned curiously and stood from his seat. He leaned in close. "Boo." He jumped back. I laughed loudly. "Sorry. What was the question?"

Shane panted slowly, still in shock. "I asked what kind of captain you were."

"Oh."

Shane stared at me patiently. "Well?"

"Hmm?"

"What kind of captain are you?"

"Pirate."

Shane wasn't surprised. He was interested. "Tell me more."

"Well, I have one crewmate so far." I leaned back in my chair. "I stole a ship from a fat animal-lover." I paused. "That's about it."

Shane chuckled. "Okay, but why did you fall from the sky?"

I shrugged. "Bored."

"How so?"

"I had nothing to do?"

"Fascinating." He began writing something down. I didn't care. "How did you come from the sky?"

"Cannon."

There was a pause. "Cannon?" Shane confirmed.

"Mm-hm."

"Would you mind explaining?"

"Sure."

* * *

><p>"Cuz Rudolf smokes."<p>

"Of course he does."

"I keep telling him to quit, but NOOOOOOOO!" Rin shook her head and climbed up to the crow's nest. "Where are you going?" I asked her.

"Somewhere quiet."

"Cool! I'll come!" Rin reached the top and pulled a dagger from her boot. She cut the rope net behind her. I was halfway up and fell back down with a thud. "Okay! I'll see you later!"

Rin sighed as she opened up her book. "Peace and quite."

I walked around the deck in circles. "I'm bored." I looked at the door that led inside. I entered and went downstairs. "There's nothing to do," I said as I kicked a stone. It hit something. I looked up.

"I wonder where James is," Rin mumbled as she flipped a page.

BANG! "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Rin looked down the mast and saw a cannon on deck. She turned her neck and saw a black dot shooting across the ocean. Rin blinked a few times. "One more chapter."

* * *

><p>"Rudolf?" Shane asked.<p>

"My size-changing red and green gecko."

Shane smiled. "I'm glad I met you James."

I smiled back, not knowing the horrors that weren't about to unfold...


	6. Chapter Seis

Chapter seis

"Well, I should be off," I said as I slowly stood, staring at Shane.

"Toodles."

"…Bye."

"You want to stay the night, don't you?"

I smiled. "If you insist!" I froze. "Wait. Night?"

"Yes," Shane nodded. "It's six-thirty."

"But it was at least early afternoon when I fired myself."

"You must have been soaring for a while," he grinned.

I froze again. "Must've."

The door opened. "Sir?" a voice came. "Sorry to interrupt, but it is quite urgent."

"It's fine, Dean. Come in."

The voice entered the room. He was wearing a suit, bald with a bit of white hair, and looked rather distressed. "Sir, it appears they've found you."

"Already?" Shane sighed as he rose. "We didn't even last the night this time."

I frowned in confusion. "What?"

Dean chuckled nervously. "Sorry, sir," he apologised to me, "but you're going to have to vacate the premises."

"Sure beans, Dean." I placed my hand on Shane's shoulder. "Thanks for the grub!"

"You're not worrying what's happening?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't seem to be any of my business."

I didn't move. "You want to know, don't you?"

"Sir," Dean said.

"Just a minute," Shane breathed. Dean pulled out a handkerchief and dried his forehead. "My father was a very wealthy and powerful business man," Shane divulged. "Naturally he made a few mistakes, ruined a few businesses, and made a few enemies."

I looked around. "Explains the mansion."

Shane nodded. "One day, he made a few new enemies. A band of pirates called, The Dark Heart pirates."

"Can't be that tough," I stated. Shane frowned. "Their name is so tough, they obviously can't be." Shane continued frowning. "It's common sense, Shaney."

"Sir," Dean repeated, "we really should go."

"Anyway," Shane continued, "He borrowed money from them, but before he could pay them back, he died."

There was screaming and shouting coming from outside. "Sir!"

"And now they're coming for the payment?"

"I've been on the run since I was eight. Mother sent me off with Dean." Shane smiled. "They took more then enough to pay off the debt, along with her, but they want me now."

There was loud banging on the front door. "Sir! We need to go now!"

"I think I can help," I said.

"What?"

"I'll take care of them for you."

A single tear slowly ran down Shane's cheek, but he didn't stop smiling. No more running. "How would you do that?"

"I shot myself out of a cannon, flew across the ocean, and crashed to the ground. I think I can handle a few pirates."

Shane chuckled. "There are more than a few."

There was a loud crash from the main entrance. Dean sighed. "They're in! It's too late!" He dropped to his knees and sobbed. "I'm sorry, Miss McCaw! I failed to protect your son!"

I rolled my eyes and kicked him to the side. "Baby." I looked down the hallway. "YAAAAARR!" I ran ahead.

Shane helped Dean to his feet. "Do you think he'll be alright?" Dean sniffed.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Shane reassured.

Dean looked up at Shane. "Sir," he smiled, "you're crying."

Shane nodded. "No more running, Dean."

They both burst into tears of joy.

* * *

><p>"Where the heck am I?" I looked to the right. Hallway. I looked to the left. Hallway. "EVERYWHERE LOOKS THE SAME!" I dashed to the left.<p>

* * *

><p>"Come on, Rudolf," Rin said. "We have to catch up with James." She sighed. "Wherever he is."<p>

* * *

><p>I saw someone at the end of a hallway. "BOOYAH!" I ran at him and kicked him in the face, knocking him through the stone wall.<p>

"What was that?" a voice echoed through the hall.

Three men ran around the corner and spotted me. They aimed their rifles at me. "Fire!"


	7. Chapter Siete

Chapter siete

BANG! The three pirates stared blankly at the empty hallway. "Where did he go?" one asked.

"Yeah, that is weird," I agreed, stroking my chin.

They spun around and aimed at the empty space. "What is this?" another growled.

"Depends. Do you mean me or the hallway?"

They spun again. "SHOW YOURSELF!" the third commanded.

"YEAH! WE WANT TO SEE YOUR HANDSOME FACE AGAIN!"

They roared and fired in all directions. A man clambered out of the broken wall. "What are you doi-" He dropped to the ground with a hole in his chest.

CLICK CLICK CLICK! "We're out!"

"Tell him that!"

"What do we do?"

"I don't know!"

"Great, I got lost again," I grumbled as I stroked my chin. I had underestimated my own speed and gotten lost again. "Now I'll never find those three idiots." I sighed. "Whatever. I gotta go find their captain." I walked down the hall and peered around the corner. It wasn't lit. "HELLO!" No answer. I slowly walked down it. "Anyone down here?"

"Who's there?" There was a small light up ahead. "Captain?"

I stopped. "Yes." Well, I am.

"Oh, good," the voice chuckled. "Sorry, Captain, I got lost on my way to McCaw." He was coming closer, using his match to light the way.

"That's fine," I said. "Do you know where the exit is?"

"Hmm?" he asked.

"Uhhh… I forgot something on the ship."

"Oh. Your special eye-gouging knife?"

"Uh. Yeah."

"Oh, of course…"

"Well?"

"You don't have a special eye-gouging knife."

"Well, what do I have?"

"The REAL captain uses a spoon."

"Alright. I need that. Now where's the exit?"

I could hear the man chuckle.

* * *

><p>"Where are you, Shane?" Dark Heart growled. "I'm growing impatient.<p>

He kicked down the door to the dining room. Shane was sitting at the head of the table, eating a steak. He looked up. "Hello, Dark Heart."

"Hello, McCaw."

Dean jumped out from behind Dark Heart and smashed a wine bottle over the back of his head. Dark Heart turned around. Dean fainted. Dark chuckled. "So, McCaw," he said as he sat down next to Shane, "you know what I'm going to do to you?"

Shane chewed his food. "Nothing."

Dark grinned. "Sorry?"

"You won't do anything."

Dark laughed manically. "What makes you so sure?"

"Because he'll stop you."

He pointed to the doorway. Dark turned around. No one was there. He turned back. No one was there, either. He roared and threw the table over. He spun around to see Shane and Dean run down the hall.

* * *

><p>The man's match burnt out. He stopped laughing and pulled out another one. He lit it. When he looked up, I was there. "I need that light."<p>

I lit a candle and continued on with it down the cold hall. "Okay," I sighed, "if I was a captain, where would I be?" I stopped. "Oh, wait."

"Found you!" a voice came.

"That's me, idiot!" another echoed.

"Don't deny it!"

"You're an idiot!"

"No, you are!"

"Nuh-uh!"

I walked along and saw two people fighting childishly. "Hey."

They stopped. "Yes?"

"Where's the exit?"

"Down that way," they pointed down a hall.

"Cool." I continued down. "Are you two part of the Dark Heart pirates?"

"Yeah…" they answered in unison.


	8. Chapter Ocho

Chapter Ocho

I walked away, leaving the two with slashes across their chests. "Dark Heart!" I called out. "Where are ya!"

There was a light at the end of the hall. I dashed for it and made it outside. The whole town was aflame, and pirates were…well…pirating, I guess. "Hey, he's not one of us!" a man shouted. "Get him!"

I sighed and sliced the approaching man. Two more came from behind. I back-flipped over them, landed on one knee, and cut them from the waist down. I rose and yelled, "DARK HEART! WHERE ARE YOU!"

Shane and Dean came running out of the front door. "How are you doing, James?" Shane asked.

"Alright," I answered. "I guess."

"Sir!" Dean screeched.

A man came right up behind me with a pistol, aimed at my head, and fired. Luckily I tilted my head to the side in time and round-house kicked him into a wall. "Thanks, Dean!" Dean just smiled unsurely.

"SHANE!" Dark boomed from the third story window.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"That's Dark Heart," Shane said.

"Really?" I asked as I cracked my knuckles. "This just got a lot more fun."

Dark Heart jumped out the window and landed on the cobblestone ground. "Shane!" he roared. "I'm here for you!"

"No kidding," Shane replied. "You're making a heck of a noise."

Dark growled. "Sir, please," Dean said worriedly.

"Yo, biggie!" I shouted.

Dark glared at me. "What is it, shrimp?"

"You ARE Dark Heart, right?"

Dark Heart laughed raucously. "Of course, shrimp!"

"Don't call me shrimp."

"I'll call you what I want," Dark said as he knelt down to face me. He was about one and a half of me tall, and about two of me wide. "Shrimp."

"Say it one more time." I smiled at him. "I dare you."

Dark poked me. "Shrimp."

I jumped and kicked him across the face. I landed with a smirk. "That's what you get."

"That's all?" I spun around to see Dark laughing. "You are quite amusing, Shrimp. It's a shame I have to kill you, though."

He pulled his leg back. "Boggit," I mumbled as he kicked me into the sail of his ship.

"I'll be back for you, Shane," Dark smiled.

"No rush!" Dean assured.

Dark glared at Dean. "You, too."

He jumped onto his ship as Dean fainted. Shane sighed and dragged him undercover.

"Where did he land?" Rin mumbled to herself. She spotted smoke on an island in the distance. She sighed. "There he is."

I stood up and swept the dust off me. I went to grab my sword, but it wasn't there. I started to panic as Dark Heart landed behind me. "Looking for this?" he asked, holding my katana. He tossed it off the boat into the ocean.

I froze. "What did…" I said, not really believing it.

"Oh, does Shrimp miss his toy?" Dark mocked. He started laughing evilly.

I looked down at my feet. "What did…"

"Oh, baby gonna cry now?" Dark asked. He then pretended to cry.

"Good one, sir!" one of the men on the ship cheered.

"Funny, sir!" another shouted.

"What did…" I looked up at him, my eyes burning with hate. "YOU DO!" I ran at him and kicked him into the captain's quarters. The men stopped cheering. I walked through the hole and picked Dark Heart up by his collar. "Go get my sword back."

Dark coughed up some blood. "Never."

I threw him onto a table and started beating him. "I SAID, GET MY SWORD BACK, NOW!"

Dark shook his head. "Make me."

I smiled devilishly. "I was hoping you'd say that."


	9. Chapter Nueve

Chapter Nueve

The crew just stared blankly at the newly-made hole in the ship. I came out, dragging Dark Heart by the ear. I threw him on the ground. "Go get my sword," I ordered.

Dark Heart rose, swung at me with his giant fist, and ended up hitting the mast instead. I had ducked underneath it. "I hate you, boy," Dark Heart growled.

The mast started to crack. "I'm sorry," I apologised mockingly. "What was that?"

Dark Heart stomped at me, breaking the ground beneath me. I jumped back to safety. "I said, I hate you!" he barked.

The cracks in the ground started to reach the mast, causing it to tip slightly. "One more time," I smirked cheekily.

Dark Heart grabbed me and threw me into the mast. "I SAID, I HATE YOU!"

The mast finally gave way and fell towards Dark Heart. "I heard you the first time." The mast crashed to the ship, sadly two feet to Dark Heart's left. He smiled. "Boggit."

Dark Heart grabbed a plank of wood and prepared to strike. Just then, a white creature jumped onto his back and began clawing him. It was pretty big, almost his size. Not that I cared. I was just happy I didn't get clubbed. "What is this thing!" he roared.

He threw the white mystery on the deck and it glared at him. "Never attack my brother again."

"Wha?"

The thing punched Dark Heart into the starry night sky. "Sweet," I mumbled. Then it clicked. "Brother?"

It turned around to face me. "Sup, Bro?" It was Rin.

"What the? Who the? How the? Well, I know the first two. How the?"

"I told you I ate a devil fruit!" Rin smiled. "I ate the Sly Sly Fruit. It allows me to turn into an arctic fox!"

"You sure don't look like one."

"Well, I can look half-human, half-fox."

"Oooooookay."

"Well, you can move at supernatural speeds."

"Touché"

"So…. Did you just send Dark Heart into space?" a man asked.

"We also put a hole in your ship," Rin pointed out.

"But, of course, Dark Heart was a terrible captain so naturally you're about to thank us, right?" I asked.

The men glanced at each other. "GET 'EM!"

"Y'know, they probably were about to thank us, but you jinxed it," Rin grumbled.

"Probably," I admitted.

Dean had finally regained consciousness, and he and Shane came out of the building. They noticed us come running off the ship. Dean caught a glimpse of the giant snow fox and fainted again. "James!" Shane called out.

"Hey, Shane!" I called back. "You wanna join our pirate crew?"

Shane turned around to face the band of pirates right behind him. "Sounds better than this!"

We ran onto our ship and set sail. Rin had to carry Dean onboard. "Mission accomplished!" I declared.

"What about your blade, James?" Shane asked.

"Hmm?" I asked. There was a long pause. "AHHH! NO! MY SWORD!" I jumped overboard to fetch it. I came flying back on deck.

"You can't swim," Rin reminded me.

"Thanks Rudolf!" A few bubbles rose to the surface. "How are we going to get my sword back?"

"Why is it so hard?" Rin asked.

A cannon blasted a hole in our sail. "The pirates," Shane reminded, fanning Dean so he would come back to us.

"Oh, yeah."

The ship caught up to us, and the katana was thrown on deck. "Thank you!" came a voice.

"Thanks for freeing us!" came another.

"We owe you big time!" a third shouted.

Their ship overtook us and approached the rising sun. "You're darn right ya do!" I called out.

Their ship began turning and their cannons were being aimed at us. "Wait," Shane said, "I thought their ship was broken."

We were then surrounded by Dark Heart pirate ships. They had more than one ship. "Boggit," we said in unison.


	10. Chapter Tien

Chapter Tien

A cannon ball shot right past our ship, hitting the ocean and blasting water into the brightening sky. Another was fired directly at our ship. I grabbed my katana, ran up the head of the ship, and slashed the speeding sphere. It blew up and sent me flying back, crashing into Rin. We fell to the ground.

"The cannon balls are explosive," Shane pointed out.

"Awww, man!" I groaned. "How am I supposed to fight that?"

Our ship rose up and Rudolf showed himself. The enemy crafts didn't move. Rudolf's tongue shot out and snatched the original ship. He rather enjoyed his snack before submerging again. The ships moved out of the way. "Thanks, Rudolf!" Rin called out, still underneath me.

We continued our adventure. "I think we should celebrate!" I declared.

"Will there be booze?" Rin inquired.

I paused. "There can b-"

"HOORAY!" Rin threw me off her and jumped for joy.

Shane just smiled as Dean woke.

I held the wheel in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. "Set course for the Grand Line!" I declared.

"We don't have a doctor," Dean pointed out.

"Or a chef," Shane added.

"I'll cook," Dean told Shane.

"Excellent, Dean!" I glared at Shane. "You, however, are a negative Nancy." Shane didn't seem to understand my slurred words. "Rin!"

She was lying on the ground, surrounded by five bottles of liquor. "She's out," Dean noted.

"No kidding, Suit!"

"Maybe you shouldn't be driving. You know, since you probably can't even see," Shane pointed out.

"Shut up," I squinted, "giant, talking penguin."

"Exactly."

Dean came up next to me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "Let's lay you down now, sir."

"Get away from me, Suit!"

"Come on now, James," Shane said calmly as he put my arm over him. "Let's get you to bed."

"I don't need you or your-"

I fell asleep. "Poor James," Shane tisked.

"He didn't even take a sip yet," Dean observed. "He just got drunk off the fumes of his sister's drinks."

When I awoke, I didn't want to. I clambered out of bed, fetched an ice pack, and exited the captain's quarters. Rin was still unconscious on the floor, snoring like a tank. It was night time. I had slept through the whole day. I looked around for Shane and Dean, but they were probably in bed anyway (not with each other, ya sickos!).

I stumbled over to the railing, carefully stepping over Rin as I did so. I could see a light in the distance. It was beautiful. It was getting closer, and closer, and closer. I blinked a few times to make sure it was actually there. Whatever it was, it shot past my head. I spun around to see it slowly land on the deck of the ship. It was so bright I couldn't look directly at it. As the light began to fade, I was able to see what it was. It was a woman, a very attractive one at that. She just stood there. "Sup?" I greeted.

"Hello," the woman replied. Her voice was that of an angel.

"So," I said, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm here for you," she answered. I pointed to myself. She pressed her lips against mine. Hey, I didn't fight it. When she released me, she said, "I want-"

"JAMES!" Rin bellowed. It almost broke my ear drums. I turned around. Rin had sat up straight, but she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes weren't open either. She dropped back to her nap.

"Anyway…" I chuckled. "You were saying?"

"I want-"

"JAMES!" I spun around. Rin was standing up now, staring right at me. "Wake up!" Wake up? No! I turned back to the highly attractive woman, but she wasn't there. NO!

I woke up, slamming my head on the top bunk. "We found an island," Rin said.

It does make sense now. I don't sleep in the captain's quarters. Not sure why. We don't actually own an ice pack, and flying light-ladies don't exist, no matter how much I want them to. I glared at Rin. "Rin," I said.

"Yeah, Broseph?"

"I hate you."


	11. Chapter Once

Chapter Doce

I climbed up the crow's nest, pulled out a telescope, and spotted the island. "What do you see?" Rin called out.

"An island!"

"No kidding. I meant on the island."

"Trees."

Rin sighed. "Shall we land?"

"Derp."

"Rudolf!"

The ship turned for the island. "So, are we docking?" Shane asked.

"Derp, apparently." Shane didn't seem to understand. I don't know why. What's not to understand?

"Would anyone fancy some tea?" Dean asked with a silver plate of teacups in his hands. Rin shook her head, but Shane grabbed a cup. "Would James care for a cup?" He looked around. "Wherever he is."

Rin wacked the mast. "James, tea!"

I jumped off and landed next to Dean. He almost collapsed as I took a drink. I frowned at it. "What is this?"

"It's called tea, sir," Dean explained.

"T-ea?" I inspected the fine china and tapped the bottom.

"Correct, sir."

I took a sip. I pretended to choke on it and fell on the ground, coughing and gasping for air. "JAMES!" Rin dropped to my side. "Are you okay!"

Shane sniffed his cup. "What's wrong with it?"

I wheezed loudly. "A bit hot." Rin rolled her eyes and stood back up.

The ship stopped and I jumped to my feet. "ADVENTURE! WHOOP!" I jumped off the vessel and landed on the warm sand. It was pretty hot actually. I couldn't feel my feet anymore. By that time I wished I couldn't. I ran for the water and stuck my feet in. "Come on out! It's fine!" I said sarcastically.

"It is for us," Shane pointed out.

Rin pointed to their shoes. "Whatever," I grumbled.

We made it into the jungle with me on Rin's back. "There's no more sand. You can get off now."

"You'd like to think so, wouldn't you?" She threw me off and I landed with a thud.

"Which way are we heading?" Shane asked.

I stood back up. I shut my eyes and shot my arm in a random direction. The rest shrugged and headed that way.

"Look at those people," the hooded man said. "They act like they own the island." He chuckled to himself. "I think we should teach them a lesson, don't you?" He turned to the bird sitting next to him. It squawked at him. "Yeah, I thought so."

"Did you guys hear that bird?" Dean asked.

"I know," I smirked. "Would make a nice lunch."

Dean snickered. He noticed no one else was laughing. He turned to Rin. "Why isn't he laughing?"

"Why would he be?" Dean had a newfound fear of me from this point on.

I stopped. "Did you guys hear that?" I asked.

"Hear what?" Rin inquired.

There was a rustle. I grabbed my sword. Rin extended her claws. Shane and Dean just looked around for the sound. I jumped out of the way and aimed my blade at the attacker. "Who are you?"

"My name is Luke," the mysterious male answered. He wore a long vest that turned into a hood at the top. I thought that was rather odd, but I still liked it. "You're on my island."

"Oh, am I?" I smiled.

"Yes. This is the Island of Luke."

"How clever."

"All the foolish people that come to this island end up either running back to their mummies or six feet under. For you see," Luke took a step back, "I have the powers of a demon. I am completely invincible to any of your attacks. So go ahead, try, because I will be able to stand through anything you throw at me."

"What if I cut your head off?"

"Nothing will happen."

"Really?" I swung at his head. Luke was shocked and quickly ducked under the charging katana. "You moved."

"What the heck! Why would you do that?"

"You said you were invincible, didn't you?"

Luke stammered. "Well, uhhh not completely, but uhhh I am ALMOST invincible."

Shane noticed a rather pretty-looking flower and went to it. Dean saw him and decided to follow.

"So you own this island?" Rin asked.

"That's right, and I would like you all to leave right now."

"What if we don't want to?" I queried.

Luke smirked. "I told you, either running to your mummies or six feet under."

"How about…" I said as I scratched my chin. I kicked him in the chest, sending him flying deeper into the jungle.

"Nice kick," Rin complimented.

"Yeah, I'm getting better."


End file.
